The following is a post from my friend Tim, who very kindly supplied some GREAT content for me in my "figuring out which end is up with the third kid" phase.
Enjoy...
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Top Ten Ways to Watch Lots of Football with Babies in the House
The best time of year is about to begin – yes sports fans, its football season! Unfortunately, our beloved blogger-in-chief is up to his [insert favorite term here] with diapers and formula and other Daddy stuff. So as an experienced Dad, I offer the following suggestions as to how to get to see as much football as is humanly possible in the face of the demands of a responsible dad. It’s the least I can do.
10. Demand that it’s your right as the man of the house to watch games…nah, forget it. That doesn’t work.
9. Place your television on the roof and tell her that you need to repair a leak…nah, forget it. That only works in beer commercials.
8. Have a buddy call you up and ask you to come over to assist with a “heavy lifting project”. Well, you might get away with that one once.
7. Have a relative call you up and ask you to come over to assist with a “heavy lifting project”. Well, you might get away with that one once. If it’s not the week right after #8.
6. Tell your wife that she needs a break and to go shopping for the afternoon. Then put the kids in the basement with lots of M&M’s and cola and lock the door. Be sure to change the diapers at halftime. Scary, but effective.
5. Tell your wife that her mother called and wants to see her as soon as possible. (Risky – you’ll end up with TWO women mad at you!)
4. Tell her the work load at the office is overbearing and you need to go into the office to catch up. Works best on subsequent weeks when game start times vary and only if you have a TV in the office. (WARNING: Under no circumstance should you detour to a bar to watch the game. You’ll smell like smoke and booze and she’ll bust you in a heartbeat.)
3. Beg, plead, cry, pout, stomp around, or bribe her with jewelry. Works best during playoffs.
2. Have her Dad ask you to come over for a “man-to-man” discussion. (how can she argue with her dad?)
1. Volunteer to do ALL the laundry for her on Saturday and Sunday afternoons. (Yeah, she’ll see right through this one too, but hey, it works!)
2 comments:
Its funny how women say they want honesty in a relationship, yet guys have to lie to get what they want' and anything that brings joy to a man is a silly waste of time yet soap operas and Ophra are and emotional release. (5 points for the Ophra reference, see first post if you don't understand)
John,
I was really enjoying this blog, but it seems to have petered out. Send me an email if you start updating it regularly again.
Mike
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